I wrote the years ago, on 4/25/08, yet there is so much truth that still floods through the words...
Life is not a destination, but a journey; yet, every journey begins with a clear objective reflecting at the end. The end culminates as an achievement, success, or simply an end. Ends can be negative or positive, or, more importantly, beginnings. how, one might ask, does an end constitute a beginning? The answer comes in the form of the journey itself.
Despite our destinations and how they vary from others, every journey gains momentum with the same energy: a spiritual leap of faith. Consider these ideas:
- working (16) hours a day @ one's job will result in a raise and promotion
- getting accepted into law school, or medical school, or secretarial school will result in increased occupational success
- giving enough of one's self without condition and loving with a pure heart will reap the same
All of these ideas are plausible, with each end possible. The reality, however, is we don't know how it will conclude, or even that we'll want it when we get there. Instead, we move forward on the faith that moving is better than being stagnant, and change is better than regret.
My journey began in an open field. From the time my thick little legs could balance me, I ran full-throttle across the field into the unknown. Speculation, estimation, and consequence were overridden by determination and "knowing." As the years passed and the cynicism of the world wept into my sking through to my heart, I noticed the horizon shift. I found myself pushing as hard, working as hard, believing as much, and giving as much, but my energy and progress became noticably less. The horizon that was once flat became complicated and full of obstacles. The open field combined with the damp, destructive force of cynicism began to saturate the earth below my feet. The green grass and trees mutated into thick brush, impenetrable at times, but never impassable. The change in atmosphere coupled with the change in terrain brought with it significant negative energy. There have been times as I've waded through the thorns, bristle, and muck that the clairty I was seeking shown as a glint amongst the branches. At these moments, I saw that to pass the final obstacle would take me to an opportunity. This opportunity would soon pattern with the obstacle, emerging at critical moments when change was not only imminent, but necessary. I have come to call this convergence of patterning crossroads.
Crossroads are interesting. They serve as significant indicators. They are also unpredictable. You see, there is no guide at the crossroads. At times, the obvious is contrary to the origianl destination. Yet, every crossroads bears a profound influence, regardless of the direction chosen. I do wish they came with a pondering bench and travel brochures..."To the left, you will find a dank, sweltering desert with miles of endless mirages to entertain your thoughts, and to the right, you will discover your truest self...." Instead, you are challenged with the unknown. This above all invokes fear and can stall even the most stealth adn formidable of travelers.
Today, I find myself at a life-altering, irrevocable crossroads. To take it means I leave my present behind. Ironically, I feel as though on this crossroads, I've already been. The path I last chose had me leaving where I am again headed, hurting people I love the second time around as I did the first. The difference is thsi time I see the path. I must continue my journey with lessons learned. I know this path will again diverge. I only hope, as the poem declares, to "take the one less traveled on." I search for growth and knowledge and must not wait for it to find me. I would be forever lost, as I know today where it awaits..I see the glint of shining seeping through the cracks.
